I know that winter is supposed to be breakup season, but for me and my friends I feel like it’s always been spring/ summer. Last summer it was me getting out of a relationship, this year it is my friends. I know that breakups can happen whenever, but lately I have experienced a pattern of several people close to me going through a breakup. Their life changes inspired me to write a piece about how to move past heartbreak at Unwritten. Because it is important to know that all is not lost ♡

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The love you experienced brought you joy and passion. It gave you purpose. Waking up next to the person you adored every morning gave you motivation to make it through the day. Preparing meals for the two of you was never a chore because you got to share them with each other. Your life was where you wanted it to be for all time at the age of twenty, and you thought you had cracked the code. You were the lucky ones who would never experience another heartbreak. 

OR SO YOU THOUGHT

I truly wish you weren’t broken. I wish there was a way you could work it out, that it was meant to be. I wish I could give you advice from my own experiences, tell you the magic cure that would make the process easier to live through. Oh how I wish such a cure existed.

But instead I can only sympathize with your shivering body and your face covered in warm salty tears. I imagine your nights being long, painful, and filled with loneliness, waiting to wake up to yet another day of heartbreak. I imagine your daily routine being a constant reminder of your loss. You are feeling hopeless, doubtful that you’ll ever get through this.

You might feel like all is lost right now. Falling out of love is a lot more than just losing your significant other, it feels like losing a part of yourself. You look at the world and everything that is on it in a completely different way, and you have to start a new life for yourself. A life without him or her.

I know it is hard to let go. Sometimes we hold on to people who are wrong for us, hopelessly blinded by their love. We may not know it right away, but eventually we understand why it was for the better to move on. You deserve better. Don’t hold on to something that does not work, in the fear of failure. Just because someone rejected you doesn’t mean everyone will.

After spending a long time in the bubble of my own heartbreak, I realized the upsetting truth that most people around me also have or will experience the pain of heartbreak several times throughout their life. Now when I look at strangers on the street, I find myself hoping with the most sincere feeling that they are not broken too.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS THAT HEARTBREAK IS A PART OF LIFE

It might be sudden and it most certainly will be painful, but it is also just a state of mind that will pass over time. Don’t ask me how long it will take, because I still find myself asking that question. But for every day that passes the feeling will fade a bit, and hopefully one day it will be completely gone. Replaced by a feeling of warmth and happiness again, a new love or passion in life. Sometimes good things are taken away from us so we can find something better.

I know that eventually you will get over it and  find love again. Your heart won’t stay broken forever. Pain is temporary. Love will find its way into your heart again. You are young and you are beautiful and you are you, the greatest thing you can be. I am sorry that your heart is aching at the moment, but luckily it is still beating. Your heart might feel bruised and abused right now, but I promise you that the feeling will fade and the scars will heal. And eventually, over time, you will be okay again.

Originally Published and Edited at Unwritten

Photography by Anne Marthe Widvey

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